Perfection | Personal Blog Post

First, take a look at this photo.



Here is what makes this a perfect situation for Max...

1. Max is swinging
   
2. Max is chewing
   
3. Max is checking his schedule (see how he's looking at his open right hand?)
   
4. Max is shirtless
   
5. Max is shoeless
   
6. It's Fall
   

That is all.

Max-Proof Bedroom | SN House

My friend, Tara, thinks I need to do some house posts about how to keep house with a SN kid in the midst. So here goes... this may be the only post or maybe I'll keep on adding to this series I'm calling "SN House"

[Disclaimer - Max's room is soon going to be Mega Greige. The white you see in a couple photos is spackle where I covered up nail holes. The blue is a color I was considering for about 5 seconds.]

To get the scoop on Max, click here

Max's room is pretty bare. This is because when we put him to bed and there are toys in the room, he chooses to play rather than sleep. So about 2 years ago, I finally gave up on keeping any toys in his room and moved them into my dining room home office. So his room consists of his bed, a small table for ABA therapy and 2 chairs. No pictures on the wall (because they tend to get swung creating arcs - maybe he's just trying to make happy faces...hmmm).

He does have a nice-sized closet. It's big enough for a small chest of drawers that holds all his clothes, a few "Church" shirts, and all the stuff Jennifer uses for therapy time. (Thank God for therapy time - also known as 2 hours that I don't have to get him out of mischief)

This is his nightly routine:
Administer medication
Administer 2mg of melantonin
Change him into a nighttime pullup
Turn off his room light from the fixture (so he won't be turning it on and off before he falls asleep)
Tuck him in
Lock his door (from the outside - so he won't escape)

10 minutes later...

"Max... get in your bed!"

20 minutes later...
Max has scooted his bed in order to turn on the light in order to pry the child lock off the closet door in order to party in his closet. oi.
scoot bed back into position
Close and put child lock back on door
Tuck child in
Turn off light
Lock door

The party closet...


This cycle is sometimes repeated.

So today I decided to nip it in the butt.

I went to Home Depot and picked up a door knob that locks - like you put on your bathroom or bedroom door.



Then I went to the electrical problem and told the electrical guy "I have a unique problem that requires a creative solution". And proceeded to give him more information then he needed. He showed me this...



I installed the doorknob as soon as I got home with the lock on the inside. Sarah - 1, Autism - 0.



Jennifer was coming over today to therapize Max, so I asked her if her hubs could come over and install the light switch thingy because I'm scared of electrical stuff. Thanks Michael. :)



You use the eensy weensy tiny key to turn the light on and off. Fabulous. A tiny key. That's what I need. :-|

Keeping the key in a high place.


Addendum - eensy weensy tiny key is officially lost.

Doorknob - $8.47
Lockable Lightswitch - $12.99

Sarah - 2, Autism - 0.

Winning.

Fussy with reason

Max was fussy tonight. Not like the fusses we (and he) endured of years past where he was completely inconsolable for a reasons we are still unsure of. I imagine I would be fussy if I had much to say and express and couldn't. If all I could do was look deeply into another persons eyes and hope and pray that they telepathically understood my desires, I would be seriously fussy.

We administered his nighttime meds, dressed him for bed and tucked him in in hopes that soon the fusses would wane. But as we began the nightly cleanup, Abby's heart was pricked. She just knew she could make it all better. So she brought him out, got him a snack and snuggled with him in the recliner.

And he watched Kipper on Abby's Kindle...upside down. (He's already seen it right side up so this adds a new element of humor to the cartoon)



That's what sisters are for.

Eight and Patience

My only boy is 8! When Max was born we had visions of wild fun boy times. And while there is still much fun with Max, it's not as WE had planned, but it's exactly as GOD had planned.



While life with an Autistic child is often difficult, it is also extremely rewarding. The rewards are long golden-eyed stares, passionate hugs, purposeful kisses.



If you had asked me what Autism is like 5 years ago, I would have wept about it. It was hard. I loved my son, but hated his Autism. I'm not saying that I love Autism now, but I often wonder about all the unabashed affection I would have missed out on if he were not Autistic.



There are times when I worry about what affect Autism will have on Abby, but I'm quickly reminded that God only plans good for all. Abby loves Max so purely and unconditionally. She doesn't understand why her BFF argues with her brother and why they don't just choose to get along - she doesn't know sibling rivalry.



God uses Max to speak to many. To me, God says, through Max that the tangible things of this world are temporary. While I often get frustrated that my house isn't one that you'd see in Better Homes and Gardens, I do know, that my time, money, thoughts are better spent on eternal things. This I've learned from an 8-year-old who doesn't speak! It seems that Max has accomplished God's will so perfectly. What's my, and your, excuse?



So today I celebrate, because I remember the first time I looked into his big blue eyes and fell deeply in love so quickly and so hard - more so then my girls. God knew that I was going to need to be drop-dead in love with this boy.

I had prayed for patience and God gave me a situation in which I had to become patient.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:13-14

Max Turns 7
More "Max" posts

Romeo

Well, Max is in love. Today in P.E. he went straight in the gym (which is odd for him to go straight in), sat down next to a little girl, took her hand, looked her in the eyes (with his golden eyes), and said "La-Ka La-Ka".

I can just hear the background music now... "I wanna' be a player..."
Can you hear it?

I wonder if her young heart skipped a beat. I mean why wouldn't it, Max is soo handsome. I know, I'm his Mama, but seriously, don't you think he's cute?



I think the gel I put in his hair this morning may have given him an ego boost.

Ross Bridge with Tiger Eyes

This afternoon I went to check out a possible shoot location with my boy.



They have a great wooden train for kids to play on that is similar to the one at Mount Laurel.





There are hydrangea here and there throughout the trail as well as a very cool old bridge/tunnel.





What, you may ask, was Tiger Eye's favorite thing about this location?

The benches. He loved them. The minute one was in site, he took off. And the thing is that they were all exactly the same. "But," he thought, "maybe, just maybe, this one is different."



One last shot of Max as we were leaving. Not looking at me, but playing with the velcro on his sandal. LOVE how this boy sees the details. Sweet thing!

Max turns 7

Today my boy is seven. The past 7 years at times has been heartbreaking but mostly it's been joyful. Max has taught us (and many others) to look at the world differently. To see the details.

Max woke up this morning very congested from all the pollen and yet chose to smile and giggle all the way to school. I LOVE that he chooses joy. If only I could do the same.

Todd put together this video of Max.


A picture from this morning... my sweet 7-year-old happy, healthy boy.



Click here to view posts about Max.

Autism "Awareness"

This term "Autism Awareness" has always been a little mind-boggling to me because Autism is becoming so prevalent that I don't know how people don't know about it. So to those of you who don't know about Autism here are some of the stats that I found on Generation Rescue's web site:

• 1 in 91 children (formally 1 in 150 up until 2009 and 1 in 10,000 in the early 1990s)
  
• 4:1 ratio of boys to girls
  
• 1 in 58 boys
  
• Fastest growing developmental disability
  
• More than 100 billion in estimated annual costs
  
• In ten years the annual costs are projected at 200-400 billion.
  
• Cost of lifelong care can be reduced by 2/3rds with early intervention
  
• A family with a child with autism will fund 3 to 5 million dollars of services throughout the lifetime of the child.
  
• More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than cancer, diabetes, Downs Syndrome and AIDS combined.
  
• Autism receives less than 5% of the research funding of most of the more prevalent childhood disorders.
  
• Approximately 1 million individuals in the US have autism
  
• Studies have shown that environmental toxins like mercury and pesticides can trigger autism.
  
• There has been no study that has directly linked a pure genetics basis for autism.
  
• The fastest growing genetic disorders increase at anapproximate rate of 1% per 100 years. Autism is growing at a much greater rate.

The Vaccine Connection

I know plenty of mom's who feel absolutely sure that vaccines triggered their childs' decent into Autism, but it is still up for debate. My kids' Pediatrician is wonderful and I recommend him to people when they are looking for a doctor, but he, like most Pediatricians, believes there is no link. If there is no link, it's uncanny how Autism usually occurs around the time that kids are being bombarded with vaccines. I'm not completely anti vaccines, but there are just too many given too young. Max was given a vaccine when he was barely over croup and his immune system may have been to compromised to handle it. Please make sure your children are good and healthy when they are vaccinated.

The Bottom Line

Be educated about your children's health. Processed foods, dyes, and preservatives may have a link to Autism as well. Pray for your children - even if they're not born yet! Follow God's leading in EVERYTHING! Trust the Lord and look for the joy in EVERY situation. Autism isn't the end of the world, it's just another view of the world.



Visit my Autism page for more info.

Click here to view more posts about Autism.

Max on Parenting Special Needs

Over a year ago, I wrote this post about Max and how much he loves sensory input. The beach is absolutely his favorite place because of all the sensory input he gets from the wind, the waves, the water, and the sand.



Two weeks ago, Parenting Special Needs online magazine came across my web site and fell in love with my pictures of Max.



We are so proud and honored to have Max on the cover of their 2010 March/April Issues - their Autism issue!



In return, my ad is posted on their site for 2 months. They also requested the text from my God is in the details post to put in their "Proud Moments" section.

My huband, Todd, the writer in the family, rewrote the post so eloquently, renaming it "The Max Effect":

How do you enjoy an afternoon at the beach? Max loves to dive into the sand. He loves to put his face down into the sand in order to intimately feel it, to taste it, and to see the detail of every grain. Max is all about "Full Effect".



How do you enjoy a day at the park? Max has once been known to ignore the standard playground equipment and instead make a mad dash for the adjoining pond. Ignoring the mid-winter temperatures, he proceeded to tread into the shallow end, so proud to have thoroughly experienced the chilly water. Max is all about "Full Effect".



How does having an autistic child change your life? Immeasurable joy and heart-wrenching pain. Unquestioning faith and questioning doubt. The peace of God and the wild rumpus of Max. They both often surpass all understanding, but it's all about "Full Effect", or should I say "Max Effect".

Psalm 27:13-14

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD.

This and That

1. I am sitting at La Reunion in Old Town Helena using their internet connection because mine has been down since Friday morning and just in case you were wondering, I did get a lot done without the distraction.
   
2. I have a couple Canadians visiting my blog and I'm wondering how they found me... Please make yourself known - I'm VERY curious! Oh, and thanks for visiting!
   
3. I really think everyone should use Google Chrome - I still have most of my visitors viewing my blog from IE 7 which has way too much bling. Switch Now!
   
4. Facebook status' I would have posted had I the internet:
   • If I am ever rich, I am soooo buying disposable socks just so I don't have to sort them... of course if I am rich enough to have disposable socks, then I'd be rich enough for someone else to wash and sort them
     
   • Dry grass on laminate floor is driving me nuts. I'm seriously considering a no-shoes-indoors policy
     
   • OMG(osh) the kids have been home for 30 minutes and there is already a bunch of dead grass on my floor
     
   • [Sarah Gaertner Cook] is getting ready to take Max to his first Baseball practice!
     
   • [Sarah Gaertner Cook] is looking forward to dinner at Panera Bread - GNO, here I come!
     
   • La Reunion cafe in Old Town is yummy and cute.
     
   • I'm so tired of cold weather, but so thankful for shelter.
   
   
5. Friday night Max had his first practice with the Opportunity League. There are basically no rules. The batter hits the soft yellow ball off the tee and then various coaches and volunteers randomly throw balls to the other players to pick up and toss in any given direction. Still, I think all the kids had fun. Max particularly enjoyed racing from base to base.
   
   
   
6. Saturday was a fun-filled day in the 'Ham
   
   First we ate at The Depot in Old Town where Max plugged his ear.
   
   
   
   Then we went to the Vulcan where we enjoyed the following views from the top of the statue:
   
   The 'Ham
   
   
   Vulcan's rear! ;-0
   
   
   I decided that I need to have a new head shot done and I like the light and the steps at the Vulcan. First I had Abby sit in the chosen spot so I get the adjustments on my camera just right. She is covered with grass and a bit disheveled because she had been attempting to roll down the hill.
   
   
   
   Then, because I like to live on the edge, I handed my 9-year-old my very expensive camera and told her to look through the viewfinder and place the rectangle between my eyes and click.
   
   
   
   Pretty good, don't you think? Yes, I removed the handlebars from the photo of me - they were distracting.
   
   Next we went to the Birmingham Museum of Art, which is FREE!
   
   Loved this building on the way there.
   
   
   
   I didn't take many pictures in there because I was trying to keep my 2-year-old from destroying ancient art. I did take pictures in the courtyard.
   
   
   
   
   
7. Yesterday we spent the day in Old Town. Can you tell that we are trying to soak up as much warmth as possible before the snow comes back.
   
   I know I've mentioned this before, but my boy has the greatest eyes ever, see?...
   
   
   
   These 2 dogs meeting caught my attention.
   
   
   
   
8. Hopefully, my internet connection will be back up by tonight. I feel so disconnected from my internet friends!
   

Thanks and have a blessed day!

Snow Joy

Yeah, I know I posted snow pictures a couple weeks ago, but I was looking through them again last night and a smile spread across my face.

I wish I had embraced the joy of the snow fall like Max did.



Why can't I release my dislike for being cold and see the beauty in the pure white snowflakes - each completely unique from the next?

When Max's hearing loss was first being diagnosed several years ago, the doctors said that his situation was very unique. We jokingly said "Max is a 40-pound snowflake".



I wish I had bundled up and walked out in it and let it fall on my face. I wish I had gathered a bunch of it to make a snowman with my children.



Some of our friends think that Todd and I must be very patient people to deal with Autism day in and day out. I have to disagree. I think Max is the one with patience. Every now and then he looks at us like he has so much to say, yet he is unable to communicate his wants and his needs.

Instead of frustration, he chooses joy.

You don't have to have a voice to accomplish God's purpose for your life.

Stayed tuned next week for some exciting news about Max!

Sensory Paradise

This post a is a little late, but a couple weeks ago, Todd, Max, and I headed down to Santa Rosa beach for a long weekend. We started the tradition last year of spending some one-on-one time with Max without the girls. He loves being an only child and it's nice to do things that we know he will enjoy without the concern of entertaining the girl.

This was my first trip to the beach with a working camera, so I had a blast taking pictures and learning more about watching my light meter (thanks April).



Don't forget to take a picture of the sky when you're at the beach. So blue and clear!



I love watching the Seagulls at the beach. It's their beach and they know it!



For Max, the beach is Sensory Paradise. He loves to feel everything - the wind, the water, the waves, the sand.









Thank you God, for creating a sensory paradise for your child, Max.